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Sh*tstorm


Today on my morning walk as I trudged along thinking about what I was going to say in my "I'm launching a website/blog" I leaned over to scoop up my dog’s runny doodoo and a bird shit on my head. Optimistically thinking I was pelted by a falling leaf or acorn I reached my hand into my long, loose hair and pulled it away and verified 'nope, that was bird shit.' So there I stood on the sidewalk, staring up at that snickering raven on the telephone wire above me with a bag of runny poop in one hand, smatterings of runny poop on the other hand and runny poop in my hair. I was caught in a literal shit storm.

What to do…what to do…?

It’s funny. Life is funny. I mean, let’s be honest - by the time a gal reaches her forties life’s dealt its share of goodness and badness. Am I right? All of us have found ourselves in our own little shit storm or two by now. And you know, just a little while ago being crapped on by a giant Poe-esque raven would have totally ruined my day. I would’ve grunted and cussed and found a way to blame my husband. I would have known that ‘it wasn’t my day.’ And maybe I would’ve turned around and gone home and watched daytime TV and eaten chips and then got in my car later and honked my horn at someone who was driving irritatingly under the speed limit like an idiot and then I would’ve complained loudly about the slowpokes in carline at school and called a friend to bitch about my muffin top and the cost of everything and maybe drank a few glasses of wine, slumped on my couch and watched more tv.

But all that time-wasting, unconscious behavior just doesn’t feel like ‘me’ anymore. Wasting time wishing a situation was other than it 'is' is an activity I don’t engage in all that often these days. What’s different for me now, after experiencing an ego annihilating flinging of crap in my direction is that I’ve come to realize that I am, in fact, here, now. Alive. That’s a BFD, yo'. I am aware now of now. I am here now. And toward that end and rather importantly what I’ve awakened to is this: there is no ‘goodness’ or ‘badness’ there’s just ‘is.’ Shit just ‘is.’ And it’s ALL in the way you look at it. It's all good.

So how is a bird shitting on your head now ‘good’ you ask? Well, for some it’s considered an omen that signals good fortune is heading your way. Cha-ching! Also, I am always bobbling my phone in one hand and the dog leashes in the other and never knowing for sure which hand to use to hold the poop bag and now I had a definitive answer - the poop hand, of course! And, I don’t know - maybe there are conditioning minerals or proteins in bird poop that will enhance the shine and texture of my long, color-treated hair? Ultimately the most important thing I’ve learned lately that I put into practice today, is that when shit happens you just keep on walking.

So I did. And it was a great walk... And I'm pretty sure I'm going to enjoy my shower, too.


© 2016 by Marion McNabb Grace

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